Skinny Jeans

I have recently sold my soul to my parents, or so I thought.

At least I believe that people may think I sold my soul. I agreed to lose some weight by the end of this year, and if I succeed, my parents will send me on a full-fledged trip to the Sundance Film Festival. But what people have to realize, is that my mother is the most loving and caring person who speaks her mind, many times, in an offensive manner, and whatever she says to me, I always take with a grain of salt and interpret it otherwise. Whenever she tells me to lose weight, I get really upset. But when she breaks it down, and tells me why I am constantly gaining weight, I feel like I need to readjust myself from full-blown arguments.

"You're not exercising, you're not eating well, you eat too many sweets, and you never eat vegetables." She noticed my weight gain for the past few years, but knowing that I insisted on being happy with the way I am, she laid low. Then a few weeks ago, she was reminded of Amy, a receptionist at her office that she had seen her grow up for the past few years. Amy had blown up to be a depressed, obese young woman, and my mom became more worried. When I came back one weekend she mentioned the "weight" issue again, and I blew up. I cried all night, blaming her for the things she would say to me all my life about weight, weight, weight. Ever since I was little, she was weight conscious and affected me more or less. More on the more side. Everyday was a new diet formula, or a new health tip she read off of a local Chinese newspaper. It's incredibly draining, and I'm ridiculously sick of it. Should I be blaming her for thinking the way I do? Sad that I have a mother who would think such things? Angry that I have a mother who would say such things?

No. My mother has taught me so much in life that if this was to be a breaking point between me and her, I would be a stupid girl. Who's to blame for setting the ridiculously thin trend? Skinny jeans? People have problems that are far more upsetting and inherently wrong, and here I am thinking my single issue with my mother is traumatizing. Next time, if I do eat healthy, do exercise, do sleep well, and still gaining weight, I will chew my mother off. For now, there are other problems in this world to worry about. Like how Lily should lose weight and go to the SFF. haha. is it so inherently wrong?